Very interesting article by former presidential spokesperson, Reuben Abati...read below...
“You look sleepy”“My brother, let’s just say I slept at a fuel station, looking for fuel.”“For which of the women in your life, because I hear these days, to please a woman in Nigeria, you must be ready to supply the three major things lacking in the land: money, fuel, and happiness.”“Leave that matter, please. My condolences on the death of your man, Governor Abubakar Audu”“We thank God for his life. He played his part.”
"“To be so close to breasting the tape and
then fall.”
“I know. I know. May be if he had not
insisted on running again for the office of Governor in Kogi state, he would
still be alive today.”
“The man drove himself too hard, publicly
and privately. He ran for every Gubernatorial election in Kogi state since
1991. There must be something special in being Governor for him.”
“Don’t speak ill of the dead, I beg you.
Simple etiquette.”
“But you know now?”
“I don’t know nothing”
“Then the man went and married a young, 23-year
old. If the election had been concluded and the man had won, the First Lady of
Kogi state would have been a 23-year old lady! Those who seek public office
should always weigh their lifestyle and their health against their ambition,
but politicians act as if they are superhuman.”
“Can you stop?”
“A 74-year old man, with a 23-year old wife.
That alone is enough to give anybody hypertension.”
“He was 68”
“Official age. He was 74, somebody told
me.”
“Excuse me! Respect the dead, please. Abubakar Audu was a democrat extraordinary, a
courageous politician, a visionary, selfless, man of the people, and his
party’s popular choice.”
“My view is that it is not the election in
Kogi that is inconclusive per se, a supplementary election will be organized, a
winner will emerge; it is Audu’s death that is inconclusive considering the many
issues it has thrown up.”
“What kind of talk is that? Death is final.
It is the cessation of all things, a necessary end.”
“Nothing has ended with Abubakar Audu’s
death oh. Did you not see the desperate efforts made to get some Prophets to
resurrect him? And some people actually believed that he could be the Lazarus
of our time! They started jubilating.”
“That is concrete proof of his popularity.
But I was shocked seeing Nigerians will believe anything, and being so
superstitious. Even the grave diggers stopped digging, waiting for the prophets
to perform a miracle.”
“I hear there was a meeting of the
Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) on the Kogi election but the moment
the prophets waded in, even INEC suspended its meeting and did not reconvene
until the prophets failed.”
“Only in Africa!”
“When
the Prophets didn’t deliver, people got angry. They could have lynched those
Prophets”
“Well, at least, some people will now know
that the prophets are not always right in the age of biology and science. Who could have been behind such a hare-brained
scheme?”
“The man’s in-laws, for example.
“Oh, come on”
“Or persons who may have been promised
appointments and contracts. Or it could be persons who invested in his
candidacy. Elections in Nigeria are business investments. The investors must
have thought of a last minute strategy to reverse the situation. Simple
economics. ”
“You and your theories. The same people
will do business with whoever eventually wins the election, anyway.”
“There is also the inconclusive matter of
the 23-year old wife. When the death was
announced, many commentators on social media were more concerned about the
young widow. Comments about how she will cope, what she would do next. One guy
asked for her phone numbers.”
“Stupid, callous fellow.”
“Another fellow actually said he was ready
to inherit all of Audu’s assets and liabilities in that regard.”
“Let him go ahead. Ole!”
“Besides, Audu’s death has turned everybody
into a Constitutional expert. What happens if a candidate dies in the course of
an inconclusive election? Who becomes the new candidate?”
“Simple. The APC will field another
candidate, appeal to whoever is aggrieved within the party to step down until
an appropriate candidate who definitely must be Igala, is identified. I don’t
see the APC fielding any candidate who will automatically make them lose the
election.”
“You think the APC candidate must still be
Igala? But nothing is ever that straightforward in Nigerian politics.”
“Of course, otherwise, it will be a
walk-over for Governor Idris Wada. The Igalas have the numbers. Politics is a
game of numbers. The stakes are high. I foresee many court cases”
“Let them field Audu’s young widow then”
“Are you out of your mind? Why are you so
obsessed with this lady?”
“Or may be his son. Does he have any son
who is qualified? Let them make it a family affair. If he had supported his son
as a candidate…But people just don’t know when to quit and hand over to the
next generation.”
“With a 23-year old wife, he was definitely
committed to the next generation.”
“Some people are of the view that his
running mate should just run with the mandate, but I don’t think the circumstances
favour him. He is from a minority group in Kogi state. He is a Christian, and
the party may not back him.”
“Poor James Faleke”
“Yeah, he must be troubled. What if he and
Audu had won. And they had been sworn in. But now, there are no guarantees.”
“God’s will is supreme. That is one lesson
we all must learn from all this. Remember Abacha? When it was time, God
intervened. We are all pencils in God’s hands. You can amass all the wealth in
the world, marry all the young women, misapply the people’s money, get so close
to Cannan, but you can then fall sick and die. In life, things happen and all
you have left is six feet, rich or poor, six feet.”
“I
hope Robert Mugabe knows this. I hope Grace Mugabe knows.”
“Why Robert Mugabe?”
“Didn’t you read that story about 50-year
old Grace Mugabe, First Lady of Zimbabwe, buying her Robert, a special
wheelchair?”
“The way you pronounced Robert, you make it
sound like Robot”
“Isn’t that what the 91-year old President
of Zimbabwe has become, a Robot. Grace Mugabe’s Robot”
“Sad. In his days, Robert Mugabe, multiple
degrees holder, was a shining star. And now, his wife is pushing him around”
“She actually has a PhD, awarded in two
months, without examination or dissertation, by her Robert in his capacity as
Chancellor of the University of Zimbabwe!”
“Mugabe! A Pan-Africanist, who stood up to
the British and neo-colonial imperialism; today, he is falling down at public
functions, he reads the wrong speech in parliament, he is old and tired, and
yet he won’t quit.”
“He should. Zimbabwe already has the oldest
President in the world, and he has been in power since 1980- 35 years!”
“With a wife like “Dis Grace” Mugabe, he
won’t. She says she is ready to push the wheelchair herself, just in case
anybody is in any doubt.”
“I won’t put anything past that woman.
Didn’t she once proclaim that any woman who wears mini-skirt and gets raped
should not complain? Is that not the same woman who punched a journalist in the
face during a foreign visit?”
“Mugabe has stayed too long and has allowed
a woman to destroy his legacy. He is so smitten with “Dis-Grace”, he allegedly
fired his Chief of Defence Staff last year for staring at her derriere!”
“That’s madness.”
“But the woman get am oh. The thing dey; very
seriously. And you know in that part of Africa, the women don’t need to buy it
and enhance it like Kim Kardashian, the thing just dey and you can lose your
head.”
“I think someday in Africa, we’d have to
start voting for these First Ladies too. Voters should be given the right to
choose the President’s wife, or at least they should be screened by parliament.
In Africa, the wives wield so much
influence.”
“They do in other places too. It is the man
that matters.”
“When Mugabe sits in that wheelchair, Zimbabwe
is finished!”
“For democracy to work, we need to worry
about the leadership recruitment process in Africa. How do we free democracy from a debilitating
sense and culture of entitlement. How do we get persons who are still up to it,
and who will not aspire to rule till they are on wheelchair or life-long
medication.”
““All men who play God and who aspire to be
God, let them be reminded, it is just six feet. In Cameroon, Paul Biya has been
sitting tight for 33 years, in Congo, Nguesso has been in power for 36 years,
in Equitorial Guinea, Mbasogo is almost a god in human form. And you have dos
Santos in Angola (36 years) Bashir in Sudan (22 years) Museveni in Uganda (29
years), Idris Deby in Chad (25 years) and Jammeh in Gambia (21 years).”
“Six feet. Just six feet in the grave.”
“I hope they all know.”
“It is also a lesson for the poor,
including those young ones who play God with their talents.”
“Absolutely. There are people these days who
play God with their laptops, their pens and I-pads. Imagine some people
jubilating over other people’s misfortune.”
“Six feet, my brother, not an inch more nor
less. In the grave, all men are equal.”
